I realized one day as I was tugging him along at the pace of productive that I was loosing something in my haste and decided to slow down and walk at his speed - slow. Some days this really grinds at me, it rubs like a scratchy tag on my t-shirt, but some days I have eyes to see that this as a blessing.
As I'm writing this I am 38 weeks pregnant. At this point every day feels like a week. No matter how many times I do this these last few weeks stretch on and on and oooooon. No matter how many times I tell myself how much it will be worth it to wait for my due date, if I'm honest I'm just so done being pregnant. So very done. So ready to be done with all the pregnancy discomfort. So very ready to hold my new one in my arms. I feel like my days are crawling at a snails pace.
Some of the best things in life come when we go slow - dough rising, broth simmering, a long unhurried conversation, but we have to learn to be brave enough to set aside the loud and the busy and the productive. We have to lay down our cramming lots of things into a day and getting everything done defining ourselves by our productivity and just sit and listen and be.
Here in this slow I find something. A little bit of ordinary day miracle. I listen to my son. I have a little bit of space to think and to breathe. It is, I guess, another facet of humility. The willingness to go low, be quiet and move slowly.
Middle spaces in our lives, between setting out on a journey and arriving at some type of end point, in the middle space, while we are still waiting to figure out what is going on, still waiting for perspective. In the middle spaces it takes bravery to move slowly. To be okay in the wait.
My friend posted this quote on Instsgram the other day and I just love it:
"You don't get to a place by constantly moving, even if your journey is only one of sitting still and waiting. Every once in a while you have to stop in your tracks and admire the view, a small cloud and a tree outside your window. You have to see what you did not see before. And then you have to sleep." (from Love Song of Miss Queen Hennessy)