Yesterday I wrote about what a huge turning point hearing this sermon was for me. How it changed how I perceived my middle season. Yesterday I wrote about how even when we are in the middle and it seems like God is a million miles away and His hand is nowhere to be seen God is already at work even if we can't see the results yet.
Another really important point from this sermon is the reminder that I am precious to God.
This is something that God taught me in a very personal way about ten years ago...
I remember sitting on the front porch of our house, on a beautiful sunny day, watching my kids play in our big front yard, reading my Bible and watching as the words leapt off of the page, as each passage pointed to verse upon verse that sang of God's unfailing love for me and that in His eyes I am his precious child.
Somewhere along the way I think it just made it's way to the back, not really something I thought about anymore. Not a big part of how I'm responding to my sucky circumstances. In the middle of my mess and fear - this is what God was reminding me of: I am precious and so very dearly loved. Even right here in the middle and the mud. Right here in my pain and heartache. Even here in the middle of my grump and frustration. Right here, I am precious.
Precious can mean a lot of things, I guess, and sometimes it can loose it's meaning - but I think of God as my good and perfect Heavenly Father and I as His dearly loved daughter, that feels huge to me. It changes how I think about how God during my moments and seasons of struggle. That in the middle of my failing, falling and flailing around He is cheering me on. He is for me, He is near to the brokenhearted.
Sometimes in the middle of my mess, when it feels like God is so far away I remember the story of Moses on the mountain. I remember how God hid Moses in the cleft of the rock and covered him with His hand as He passed by. It was only after God has passed by that He let Moses see Him. I think it was Beth Moore who said that God does that with us too - it is when He is nearest that He covers us so that we can not see Him but that as He passes by we are able to watch Him as His presence goes and we realize suddenly just how near He really was.
In the middle, it feels like God is just so very far away and that our circumstances are unbearable (even if it is just all the inside quiet stuff and not a lot of the loud big trials) - it is so important when we are in the middle, especially as we struggle to keep our feet of faith underneath us, to remember that in God's eyes we are just so precious. He has already moved on our behalf and we just need to wait to see what is on the other side...
The day after I heard the sermon linked above I heard this song on the radio. It's one I've been listening to for a long time. I just hung onto the line "your beloved needs your help". Sometimes that is all I have to offer God in the way of a prayer, but I think it is a powerful one.
Today get's an extra song because as I was making dinner tonight and listening to this song it seemed like exactly the perfect song to end this post with. So I'm sure I'll post this song again at some point during this series but here you go: