Friday, October 24, 2014

Day 23 - in brokenness

This is Day 23 of my 31 days of writing series called "Confessions of a Road Kill Christian" If you haven't read Day 1 yet you can click here first. I am linking up with #write31days. I hope that through this series of posts we'll be encouraged by who God is and who He says we are in Him.


 

This is the first day I have missed posting for the writing 31 days  challenge... I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. Yesterday I had a hard time even getting off of the couch. Around 11am I made up my mind to not sit in my exhaustion and discouragement but to try to get some momentum and got outside into the sunshine. I took Eli to the park and that was good. Once I started engaging and smiling it did get better. After school I sat with my kids and listened to their day, and that was a good moment. After school I sat with my kids and listened to their day, and that was a good moment.


Today I don't have any put-together post to share. I just have this one thought: God is with us in our brokenness. He meets us here in our mess. God wants us to come humble and desperate and aware of our need of Him. In my brokenness and my exhaustion and brain fog and funk God is with me. He is near me and He is preparing me.  My brokenness and struggle don't disqualify me. In some ways it even uniquely qualifies me to be able to minister in ways I otherwise wouldn't be able to.  He wants me to draw near to him, in all of my mess, it doesn't make him withdraw. He can take it. He still draws near to me even when I can't pinpoint why I feel the way that I do, even when my body is making things hard for me, even when my flesh is going on a rampage fighting against all the hope God has given to me because I can't see even a glimmer of it with my eyes. God is with me, even in maybe even especially in my brokenness, even though right now I can't feel it.

This is a song we sung at the ladies retreat last week. In person this song was amazingly powerful. As I was writing this post this song came back to my mind. It's called Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace) and it speaks so to me about the God who does not reject me when I am shattered and scattered. He takes us when we are lost and blind and breathes new life and opens our eyes so that we can see Him.




Here are some of the words:


all these pieces
broken & scattered
in mercy gathered
mended and whole
empty handed
but not forsaken
I've been set free

amazing Grace how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I am found
was blind but now I see
I can see You now
I can see the love in Your eyes
laying Yourself down
raising up the broken to life

You take our failure
You take our weakness
You set Your treasure
in jars of clay
so take this heart Lord
I'll be your vessel
the world to see your life in me

2 comments:

  1. This reminds me so much of one of my posts from last week titled "Broken and Loved." We are not just broken. We are not just loved. But rather we are both broken and loved! And that my friend is enough!!

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  2. Thank you for sharing these words from a heart-wrung place but still full of hope. There's something I love in your phrase "shattered and scattered" and remembering that He heals even that.

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