Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The God of open doors

It's easy, when the Red Seas are parting and the manna is falling and you feel that things are going well, to be confident that God is at work in your life. But when life is looking scary, the seasons of life start to change before you feel ready and you look ahead and see a really tough transition - it's a little harder.

In retrospect, maybe I should have seen this coming. Over the fall I was singing back to God "where you go, I'll go... I will follow you" and I meant it with all my heart. I was hearing this word everywhere. Looking back at this now maybe it was God's way of preparing my heart for this but when the moment came I was all like "God - this is not what I meant" When I told God I would move wherever he wanted me to go I was not thinking literally moving metro areas. 

I love living in Augusta. It's a smaller metro area than Atlanta, where I'm from, and where I am returning next summer. Here I have been a part of an amazing church, I have been able to move in ministry more here and a piece of me has come alive through that and I have made some of the best friends I have ever had at any time in my life. I have loved living here. It has changed my life, overwhelmingly for the better.

But now we are moving.

I prayed and fasted and asked God to show me how to respond. I expected peace about this decision, I expected to hear that gentle voice behind me whispering this is the way, walk in it - but all I got was deafening silence. I didn't hear God. But I did hear my husband. It was hard to hear him through my fears but eventually I heard him saying "this is a great opportunity and what I think is best for our family" and at the end of it all I had to say "I love you, I believe in you and I am confident that we are going to succeed wherever we go." and trust Daniel with this decision.

Through all my desperate prayers to God to direct our path, this is the one thing I did hear: "Who do you believe that I AM? Believe in me. The God who opens and closes doors." 

This is my landing place. 

It is a lesson God introduced me to over the summer. As I watched door after door close and I struggled with how God was choosing to move differently this time around. God had not changed. But our circumstances sure had. The God who provided suddenly is also the God who led me down a longer path of seeking and provided at the end. 

I don't see the end from the begining of this transition. In all honesty, all I can see right now is how hard this move is going to be. But I believe God does. I believe he works everything for good, even if I can't see it. Right now, I'm resting in that.

The details of our move are this: Daniel will be leaving us to live in Atlanta Monday through Friday until we can follow him in the summer. We don't know exactly where in the Atlanta metro area we will live.  

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you...and will help with moving. Love you dearly!


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