Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Why? Exhaustion

I had this post written on my phone yesterday but it didn't save/upload properly so when I went to tweak/publish it this morning it was gone so today you get the short version.

It's a good thing you can't die of brain fog. I'd be a goner for sure. I have these days when the ideas come fast and thick I can barely scribble them down fast enough and then a random thought comes and details the whole thing and the pot of ideas slowly simmering on the back burner spontaneously combusts. So yeah, that's where I am today - in a fog, in a funk. 

The season of life is just seriously crazy. My days can be nuts. While I'm cleaning up one mess my two year old is busy making  another - when my kids are all home it can be wall-to-wall craziness, or everyone snuggled on the couch together watching Master Chef Junior and the mine feels perfect - you just never know how it's going to be.

In small group this week we were sharing the why of not coming to God and one of my friends made a really excellent point - exhaustion. Because coming to God and sitting down with His word takes effort and it is seriously difficult to find that moment when we can be both still and have the mental and emotional energy to try to meet with God.

Yesterday I just sat on the back step in the sunlight, trying to get my head right and my heart ready for my kids to come blasting through the door. I put my head down, closed my eyes and soaked in to sunshine. I thought about on of my favorite verses:

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28 NASB)

So I just came in all of my weariness and all of my mess - I laid it all out down at His feet and just came.

I'm glad God has written in His word about His special love and care for young moms. 

Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs And carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes. (Isaiah 40:11 NASB)

Another translation is gently lead the mother sheep with her young

I love that He knows our weakness and our exhaustion. I love that He accepts us in all our mess - in my physical, mental & emotional exhaustion He still calls me. He doesn't expect me to get my act together first or only come if I can sit for a certain amount of time. I just come.

You know, yesterday I didn't hear the angels sing, I didn't see heaven open or even have a warm fuzzy feeling - I just waited for a few minutes and then stood up and loaded the dishwasher. I'm still in my funk but I'm going to continue trying to practice the come.

Continue reading: Why? Exhaustion Part 2

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