Thursday, November 7, 2013

Why: Coffee, hunger & the in between

I don't know if I've mentioned it here before but about the time I started the Bible study on idols I felt like God asked me to step away from the amount of coffee I have been drinking. It's something I love, rely on, get comfort from, can't go a day without - and it was time to take a step back. I don't think there is anything inherent in coffee-drinking that's unspiritual or somehow ungodly - it was just what God was asking me, personally, to do - a simple practice to symbolize a deeper reality.

The first few days were harder than I thought it would be, I found myself longing for it's comfort, crying out to God  what are we doing here?! but somehow in this practice I found blessing. Surprising, unexpected blessings.

Then I found excuses.

I spent a week or two saying things to myself like "well, I'm on my period this week, so I need a little extra help" or "I didn't finish my first cup so this cup doesn't count". Coming face to face with the sneakiness of my own sin nature is not pleasant but getting back into the path of blessing and trusting God that somewhere in this there is blessing, that is worth it. Believing that there is a deeper principle that God is trying to demonstrate to me with something physical, tangible and measurable. My other idols are a lot more slippery.

I wrote the other day about my bad food choices, and how I've been going around all day hungry and dissatisfied. Today I realized part of that is because I'm used to filling that space with coffee. I'm used to drinking coffee all day and maybe, or maybe not, eating. Now the coffee has been taken away and the poor choices that have been there all along are now glaringly obvious. 

Notice any similarity here with the idols in our lives? Yeah - me too. Wow. Thank you God for using something so simple and tangible to teach me something intangible and eternal. I don't even notice my lack of God because I'm filling the space up with nothing. Not bad stuff necessarily just the busy, empty stuff and the too-much-of-a-good-thing stuff. 

So I'm asking God to take away my taste for coffee, sitting here drinking my green smoothie and surrendering to his ways, that I honestly don't understand right here, right now. And asking Him to take away my taste for my idols one step, one day at a time.

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