Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Missing him today

Today my baby brother would be turning 21.

This a photo of me, holding Ian at the Hospital the day after he was born.

Only on January 1st 2009 he shot himself and died.

DSCF2324
Ian at Emma's 2nd Birthday party

Ian
Ian
I miss him SO much. Especially around his birthday. He was a fantastic uncle to my girls and he would have loved wrestling with my boys. I hate that they have to grow up without knowing him.

It's really hard loosing a brother to a suicide. Simple questions like "how many siblings do you have?" are now really difficult to answer. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to re-write the story of my childhood. Only tell the stories about my sisters. Never talk about the brother that I lost.

But then my kids are ugly to each other. They say words I hope they really don't mean and I tell them, with tears in my eyes, about the importance of family and how special each sibling is in a family.


scrapbook page

2 comments:

  1. :( Suicide is one of the worst deaths to deal with too. Sorry for your pain. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love you so much...
    I am trying to stay focused on the ones he left behind; not always grieving over what will never be...

    ReplyDelete

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