Friday, May 31, 2013
faith for the waiting
the roller coaster ride of trying to move has been nuts
and tonight, as I write this, we are still waiting to see how it is all going to turn out
so I just wanted to write, here in this moment, about faith in the waiting.
I'm doing a Bible study about Ruth and I was struck by that moment when Ruth kissed her mother in-law goodbye for the day and said basically "maybe it'll all turn out okay" and she went out and worked hard and along this path of obedience and God directed her steps into the field of Boaz, who God had already prepared and through whom God would provide...
but in the waiting...
in the waiting Ruth had to just put one foot in front of the other
in the waiting Ruth must have had to just trust that one way or another the LORD would provide
in the waiting, there was no lightening bolt of divine direction, just gleaning in the fields, row by row
and she happened to be in the field of Boaz
and Boaz happened to come check on his fields when Ruth was there
and through all of these circumstances God worked a beautiful story of provision and redemption all in the context of something really ordinary and everyday.
It's easy, at the end of a journey to say, Praise the Lord! It all worked out. But in the waiting...
I can say I trust God - actually doing it is another matter. Putting one foot in front of the other, trusting God to close the doors that need to be closed and open the doors that need to be opened. I find myself running ahead, trying to figure out where this whole journey is going or frozen in fear, afraid of taking a wrong step instead of taking one step at a time, trusting God to guide my way.
I want to say "I'm trying to trust God" in this situation but then this morning, it hit me, there is really no middle ground in this, I either trust God or I don't. It's all that black and white. I may jump from one side to the other, from unbelief to belief, but when the hazy gray comes into focus and I see clearly that I have to choose. I choose to trust. Even when door after door closes. I am choosing to believe that God will be faithful and one way or another He will provide and He WILL lead our family, even in this little-in-the-sceme-of-human-history huge thing in my life.