Wednesday, March 6, 2013

One hundred mornings Day 11: her name is shame

I wrote this yesterday after reading this post about shame. These words of grace might not be the ones you are used to hearing and there is so much more she could say, but these are the words that came to mind - I hope that they encourage you today. 



She looks at me
With those beautiful perfect eyes
Lips curled up slightly in a smile
Hands folded neatly in her lap
Legs crossed at the ankles
She just looks at me
Her name is Shame

In her gaze she reminds me gently
Yet deeply, darkly
Of everything that I am not
Everything I'd like to think I am
but I'm not

Gentle? Patient? Kind? No.
You yelled. And how those words flew fast and fearless and cutting.
They hit and were deflected.
Oh it's just mom yelling at me again.

Responsible? Look at this mess!
Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? No.
Self-controlled? No.
Lazy, selfish, apathetic.
Pathetic.

She sits there, stares me down.
I squirm - I know her words are true.
Too true.

I sit,
And the tears begin to blur the sight of
My perfectly groomed companion
And my hands become damp
As they sit limp in my lap.

Yet as I sit
I hear another voice
Grace
She comes to me from behind
Circles round and bends down
She takes my hands in hers
And looks into my timid eyes
She says
Yes. You are
All that and more
You have faltered
You have failed
But you have also
Listened
Been quiet
Loved
Forgiven

And who are you to be perfect anyway?
The world doesn't need perfect
The world needs YOU
Your family needs YOU
In all of your mess
In all of your need
In all of your need for forgiveness
And grace
There is only one you
So be you
Be the best you
You can be
But let's not just sit here
Overwhelmed by Shame
And some perfect ideal of some person you can not
Should not
Will not ever be.




3 comments:

  1. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. So poignant. Thank you so much for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. beautiful faith. you and you soul are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete

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