Saturday, November 28, 2009

Happy Day-after Thanksgiving!

Yesterday Daniel decided that he was going to shave his head. He took his beard trimmer and all the kids outside and said "have at it". I grabbed my camera an said "this is going to be good!" I don't have the heart to post even half of the pics I got - he looked absolutely horrible! But only for a few minutes. I love Josiah's concerned look in the photo above! I loved Beth's expression as she shaved Daniel's head. She is such a "Daddy's girl" and she loves to take care of him.
Daniel kept his head shaved when Katie-Abigail was a baby, so this isn't a first for me. In fact I kinda think it's sexy. The kids were totally shocked! Beth almost cried when she saw Daniel's bald head. For Daniel, it's just a practical issue of his hair growing so fast that he needs to get a hair cut every couple weeks and h doesn't like the flat buzzed off look which is pretty much all I can do to his hair.
I put a Christmas thread into my Pandora music player. Right now I'm enjoying some MercyMe Christmas music - gotta love it! I really like Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong album too.
We put our little Charlie Brown Christmas Tree up. Our tree has been with us every Christmas since Daniel and I celebrated our first Christmas together - broke, with a brand new baby. It's the one thing that we have that we've had from the beginning. I love the memories attached to it. One year I hope we can have a nice tall real Christmas tree, one year when we don't have a toddler probably! This year I bought a new set of ornaments for it, they're bright and sparkly pink & blue and green & orange. Oh well, it's festive anyway!
Thought y'all would enjoy this sweet pic of three of my four munchkins. All snuggled up in their foot jammies for these chilly nights!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

More things that make me happy

Going out to a playgroup and feeling happier on the way home
SUNSHINE after days and days of drizzly rain
Coffee on a cold morning
Little man snuggles
Little girl giggles
Listening to my big girls read to their little siblings
Watching my kiddos play with bubbles in the golden autumn afternoon
Warm baths at the end of the day
Watching Bones online on a Friday night
A nice long Saturday to spend with my kiddos

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Coming around a corner

I wanted to share that I had a real breakthrough with my depression last week. I haven't been exercising and I haven't been to a playgroup yet (though I am trying to get out of the house more often and I did join a playgroup on Meetup.com) I have been praying and getting back into God's word.

For awhile reading the Bible became such a chore. I felt guilty if I didn't do it, like I couldn't be close to God if didn't read my Bible, but every time I sat down I would get frustrated and angry. I wasn't hearing God and my spirit wasn't being fed. I was struggling with such basic things like is God really there and is anything I was taught to believe as a child true? Plus I was walking through a thick cloud of grief and shatterd dreams. My friends encouraged me to not equate my relationship with God to my quiet times. So I set my Bible aside and have only picked it up now and then for probably two years now. I don't know if I was right to let myself go without regular Bible readings for so long, but I know that in some moments it really was the right thing for me.

Last week though I took some time to read a little bit of the Word and pray and just really seek God's face and to fill me with His love fore me. He did.

The sadness isn't all the way gone and my life still feels so out of control but I feel God's hand, holding mine and I hear Him saying that He is with me, He has never and will never let me go, we are walking step by step through this together. I feel the peace. I finally feel the satisfying love of Jesus. God's word is coming alive again to me and feeding my spirit and drawing me closer to God in worship of His awesomeness.

I have so far to go. I have so much to learn about what it means to walk with God. But this week I've said to myself that there is only one thing I need to do today - I need to be with God. Some days that means praying as I load the washing machine and listening to God as fold pants out of the dryer. But I've re-connected with God... and it's made all the difference in the world.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Things that make me happy

My little boy when he says "thank you Mommy" it just melts my heart!
Hot Cocoa from my new uber-awesome Keurig coffee maker that Daniel bought for me, just because he hope it would make my day.
Whipped Strawberry Yogurt (the yopliait vanilla flavor also rocks!)
Dancing with the Stars - lame, I know. But it really makes me happy!
Hugs from my sweet little girls, and laughing with them.
Praying and feeling God's love and peace fill me.
Reading "Where the Wild Things Are" to Josiah for the hundredth time and feeling him snuggled close. I want to hang onto these moments forever.
Playing outside with my kids in the golden fall sunshine!
Waking up to realize that no kids climbed into bed during the night.
A hot bath and a good book.

Emma helped me make dinner on Sunday night - it was just one of those clean out the pantry kind of nights. Just Tuna Toasties, creamed corn and cranberry jelly sauce. Emma said that these kinds of meals with lots of good food make her feel like God is close.

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