Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A question... or two

So my therapist gave me these two behavioral assignments for the week: to plan for more socialization and to get excercise. I'm totally clueless about how to go about both! Okay, well maybe not totally clueless. I requested to join a playgroup in my on and I looked up story times at my Library and the local bookstore. Any more ideas?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


These are some photos I've taken when I was feeling overwhelmed by life, and the messyness of it. I've always known that I'm prone to feeling low, it's sort of a rut I live in. Recently I was diagnosed with depression. It's real now. I actually have to deal with it. I think admiting you have a problem and getting help with it is a good place to be, or at least a better place than ignoring and denying that anything is wrong.
Today has been one of the worst days since being diagnosed. My kids are sick and I feel trapped at home but I can't get anything done. It's one of those gray dripy, misty Atlanta mornings "the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon, stuck inside the gloom." Plus I've got therapy tonight and I'm sort of dreading it. I'm not sure why.
But here, stuck inside the gloom, I choose to believe that God is with me. I long to feel Him here with me, like I know He is. I long to break out of these ruts I've lived in of dissapointment and brokennes and fear and junk.

Monday, October 26, 2009

learning a lesson

This is a photo of my Beth. She's such a "typical" first-born. She's a take-charge kinda' girl who has a lot of power struggles with the mama. She's awesome and brilliant but we have to work really hard at having a relationship.
I'm reading this book called "Redirecting Children's Behavior" and it's been a great tool, it causes me to look at my parenting from a new angle and gives lots of examples. Today I was reading about power-struggles and how to re-direct a child's desire for control by giving them the opportunity to make choices.
So I had this idea - I'll take Beth with me to the grocery store and I'll let her make all of those little choices I hate to make - sometimes I think that the spaghetti sauce manufacturers have it in for people like me, I mean come on! Do we really need ten different flavors of spaghetti sauce?
It was awesome Beth enjoyed her time with me a LOT. I bought her some chapstick and a .33 package of Funions and she was just the happiest little kid in the world! She made a lot of really great choices. I directed her towards the brand I wanted to buy and she usually chose stuff that she's seen in the house before so there was zero fighting. I think I got through my shopping faster too cause she was there to help!
So I thought I'd share this little nugget of wisdom, since it worked for us.
BTW: Emma (daughter #2) has more need for attention so I'll be taking her next week so we can have one on one time.

Friday, October 23, 2009

More thoughts

Today I was thinking about old(ish) movies that I want to see -

Sleepless in Seatle - love Meg Ryan's hair! I also love the way Tom Hank's charicter talks about his first wife.

You've Got Mail - another Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie. It's sort of a cliche story but the ending gets me every time, and Greg Kinnar's charicter is just great. I also love her apartment, for some reason, I guess it's all the white and bookshelves. I also love the part where she writes about how her life reminding her of something that she's read in a book and she wishes it were the other way around - I can relate to that.

Sabrina - Greg Kinnar is in the newer version of this one too. I watched this movie a lot when I was 13-14 years old and I just adored Sabrina's wordrobe and hair, and her photography.

While You Were Sleeping - it's my favorite Sandra Bullock movie. I love how she celebrates Christmas. I relate to how lonely she feels during that time and to her romantic daydreamyness.

I am also looking out for a time to watch Pride & Prejudice again. It's been awhile. I also have Sense & Sensability and while the one I have mangled the story a bit, I enjoy it a lot nonetheless. I've been watching BONES on TV. I think that Booth is a modern Mr. Darcey and get all swooney at his relationship with Bones. Especially in the episode "Night at the Museum"

A letter from Samuel Rutherford

Today I've been cleaning - a little bit here and a little bit there. I was packing up some books and cracked open "The Letters of Samuel Rutherford" I remember when Daniel and I were courting he would sometimes read to me from this book. I opened to a letter and read it and it spoke volumes to me, so I thought I'd put a few quotes here:

"Time cannot change Him in his love. You may yourself ebb and flow,
rise and fall, wax and wane; but your Lord is this day as He was yesterday. And
it is your comfort that your salvation is not rolled upon wheels of your own
making, neither have you to do with a Christ of your own shaping.

God has singled out a Mediator (Psalm 89:19), strong and mighty: if you
and your burdens were as heavy as ten hills or hells, He is able to bear you and
save you to the uttermost. Your often seeking Him cannot make you a burden to
Him. I know that Christ has compassion on you, and moans for you, in all your
lows and sadness; but it is good for you that He hides Himself sometimes. It is
not dryness or coldness of love that causes Christ to withdraw and slip in
behind a curtain and a veil, so that you cannot see Him; but He knows that you
could not bear with a fair gale, a full moon and a high tide of His felt love,
and always a fair summer-day and a summer-sun of a felt and possessed and
embracing Lord Jesus. He could not let out His rivers of love upon His own, but
these rivers would be in hazard of loosening a young plant at the root; and He
knows this of you. You should, therefore, first seek the fullness of
Christ's kindness, till you and He be above sun and moon. That is the country
where you will be enlarged for that love which you can not now

Cast the burden of your sweet babes upon Christ and lighten your heart
by laying your all upon Him: He will be their God. I hope to see you up the
mountain yet, and glad in the salvation of God. Frame yourself for Christ and
gloom not upon His cross. I find Him so sweet, that my love, suppose I would
charge it to remove from Christ, would not obey me: His love has stronger
fingers than to let go its grips of us children, who cannot go but by such a
hold as Christ."

I hope that this blesses you as it did me!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I can't believe it's been over a month since I blogged last. Life has just been so full lately. I've been working doing childcare at my gym - which takes up a huge part of my week. It makes me thankful that I have been able to stay at home full-time for all these years.
I've done a very little bit of photography this month, mostly just taking snapshots of my kids and haven't felt like seriously processing anything.

I went on a coke zero kick for a couple weeks. Here's a photo from that.

We got a dog! Her name is Molly and she is a one year old Shih Tzu who needed a new home. We got her on Josiah's birthday! She's great with the kids who hold her like a babydoll. She's a no shed dog which is wonderful!

He turned two and I gave him a "big boy" hair cut and he looks SO cute!!
It's finally cold her in the ATL time for hot tea and foot pajamas

I took some photos for my church during their service. I really enjoyed processing them and watching some of them turn from chaos into something artistic. Here's the full set on Flickr

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